a collection of depressing poems

morena (she/her)

lovesick / pride and prozac / family / morena / insomnia

lovesick

i was awake again
3am waiting for a phone call that would never come. 
just waiting for someone to need me again. 
no, not need. but want me, again. 

i wonder what she's doing right now
if she's also a victim of insomnia or
if she’s also dreaming of something that never happened-

maybe its too late 
to be thinking about these things. 
too late 
to be focusing on little moments that could have been more. 

or maybe i'm just
lovesick
​

pride and prozac

¨things won't always be like this, you know¨

it was all too familiar
the blade digging into my skin 
washing my arm under the sink before anyone could see what i had done 

it was all too familiar
writing the many iterations of what would have been 
my very own suicide note 

only then do i look outside, the sky full of stars
i stop

and wish that eventually 
i’ll hear her voice again. 

¨things won't always be like this, you know¨
​

​family

what makes a family?

my favorite memories of us, 
we would fall asleep right there on the living room floor
candles lit and the night quiet
all together. 

¨it’ll be okay, you can rest now” 

the safe space i never had to ask for 
the safe space where i could try to believe 
i deserved to be here 

what makes a family?
we do.
​

​morena

my name. 

well, it's not really mine, you know? 
it’s not the one thrown my way in conversations
it’s not the one displayed by my signature 

but it is 
the name that makes me confident 
the name that she used to called me
the name that makes me feel safe because, 

it's our name.

the name we were given 
the name i share with you all 
the name i am most proud of 

because no matter what happens 
i get to keep a part of you with me 

with love, morena
​

​insomnia

it’s still 3am 
the stars have decided to leave me, too

and yet,
i’m waiting for you 
to come back home 

even if i know that’s nothing
more than a beautiful dream