Metamorphosis

Rowan Thompkins (he/they)

I never felt right being in my own skin
Never knew where I end and where I begin
Just being me felt like a sin
A fight with myself, and the other version would win

“Grow out your hair, dear, let your locks flow!”
“Put on the makeup, girl, give us a show!”
“Your clothes are so baggy, you’re not being coy”
“Your hair is too short, you look like a boy”

Boy
Spoken like an insult
Rather than the answer to my long internal question
Feeling like a stranger in my own body
Because I was
I wasn’t the me I’m supposed to be

A caterpillar in a world made for the butterfly
Inching along as I plead and cry
“Why did you have to make me this way?!”
No amount of prayers could take the feeling away
But all it took was one more transgressor
To put it all together

I was transgender

I wanted nothing more than to turn into a butterfly
To spread my rainbow wings and join the others like me
The monarchs would stare and jeer
But I wouldn’t care
For I would be beautiful
I would be special
I would be me

So I’ll wear my clothes
I’ll cut my hair
You can judge all you want 
But I don’t care!
I’d rather you hate me
Be blind while I see
It doesn’t matter what you think
Because I’ll be me

So I grow into my own
Develop my sense of self
Find my support system 
People who will help
Until I take the final step
My metamorphosis

In my cocoon it’s safe and sound
I change and take shape while no one’s around
I’m ready to face her, the other version of me
I resented her, but now we agree
We are equally part of my story
She helped me become all of my glory
So I hug her tight and say my goodbye
Safe in my arms, the both of us cry

A ray of light then appears
Metamorphosis ending, my time drawing near
I turn to give her one last glance
But she disappears
As the light starts to dance
I face the brightness with a smile on my face
Happy to have finally found my place

So now I spread my wings, ready to take to the sky
These rainbow-studded beauties help me soar high
I look to the ground, and to no surprise
The monarchs stare, judgment in their eyes
What they have to say doesn’t matter to me

I am a boy, that’s plain to see
But I look past them to the ground
To the other caterpillars inching around
I see me in them, feeling out of place
Desperate for wings, I see it on their face
So it now it’s my job to help them out
Until they can finally come about

Their own metamorphosis

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