The Unexpected Uber

Rowan Thompkins (he/they)

  There’s a lot going on in the world right now. The lives of our trans community are being threatened, our existence being diminished and demonized. It’s hard to go into day to day life with a positive outlook. It’s also hard going out and being openly trans, for you never know what people’s reactions to you will be. For me, Uber rides are one of those scary experiences. On my ID, my sex assigned at birth is on there, as well as a very old picture of me, and I no longer look like that. I worry that I will be judged, refused, or worse. This one amazing experience, however, changed my life and gave me a reminder that there is good within the bad of the world.

I work at a local, and popular, movie theater when I’m in my hometown for breaks. I don’t have my own car, or reliable transportation in general, so I rely on Uber to get me to and from work. This past winter break I was working nearly everyday, and I was coming off of a particularly long stretch of shifts (8 days in a row, including a 14 hour double on Christmas). I was promised to be picked up, but my ride wasn’t responding. Begrudgingly, I ordered an Uber. As I waited, the usual anxiety kicked in. Eventually the Uber arrived, and I went outside to meet them. Immediately after opening the door, I was greeted by the sweetest woman I had ever encountered. For the sake of anonymity, I’ll call her Molly (this is a reference to Molly Weasley, it will make sense later on). Molly immediately asked how I was, if I was comfortable, if the heat needed to be adjusted… she really made sure that I was okay before starting the seven  minute drive back to my house. It was relieving to interact with such a nice person after dealing with less than desirable people all day. I spent the day with people upset that the temperature of their theater was a degree too hot or cold, people who tried to blame staff for issues that they themselves caused as an attempt to get free concessions or refunds, people who would threaten our lives if something couldn’t go their way… to say Molly was a breath of fresh air would be an understatement.

As the ride took off, so did our conversation. We started talking about our jobs, about how good (and not so good) they could be. Eventually the conversation took a turn, and we were talking about our shared fears for the future. Both of us were fearful for the (eventual) takeover of the Trump administration, more specifically how that would affect trans individuals. I was confused on why that specific topic resonated with her, but as if she read my mind, my question was answered. She asked if she could be personal for a moment, to which I agreed, and she began telling me about her daughter, who I will call Ginny (told you it would make sense; I love Harry Potter… not JK though).

As she started telling me about Ginny, I felt like I was hearing the story of myself. The two of us are extremely similar; both trans, both lovers of music, both music creators, both of us struggling to come into ourselves after coming out. I immediately felt connected to Molly. I opened up myself, telling her that I was trans and started sharing some of my trans experiences. I will never forget her reaching to the back seat to take my hand as I talked, telling me how brave I was for being myself and standing up for my community. I felt so supported by this complete stranger, something I hadn’t even truly gotten from my own family. We continued talking, even missing the turn onto my street. 

Eventually we got to my house, but I don’t think either of us were ready to part ways. In fact, we actually continued talking for another 20 minutes in my driveway. Molly told me more about Ginny, showing me pictures of her and telling me more about her trans journey. I showed pictures of myself too, showing her how I became the person I wanted to be. We found inspiration and admiration for each other. Given the times we’re in, it was like my own beacon of hope; it’s not too often you go out into the world and find people who support the trans identity, even more so have experience with it. As she told me more about Ginny, I really did feel connected to her, and though I hadn’t met her, I wanted to be a support for her. I asked Molly if it was okay for us to exchange numbers, and she excitedly agreed. She sent me a message after receiving my number, and what happened next shocked us both… her number was already in my phone! Turns out she adopted the number of an old high school friend. To be honest, it felt like fate. I’m not really one for that sort of thing, but it really felt like I was supposed to get an Uber that night so I could meet Molly.

That was the first and only time I have seen Molly. We do, however, have plans to reconnect when I return home for summer; I’ll even get to meet Ginny. Meeting Molly really did change my perspective on a lot. It’s good to know that there are hidden gems out there in the world. It may seem like everything and everyone is out to get us nowadays, but if you look in the right (and unexpected) places, you will find your support and allies.

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