Mass Meeting Chronicles, Part 5

The thunder is very loud. You look around for the source of the noise and see a bright light overhead. The clouds have parted, revealing the truth: dozens of ancient beings, clad in robes, clapping in unison. You are dumbfounded, and thus you fall to your knees. 

“You are the ultimate gay,” one of them declares, their eyes glowing as if recounting a prophecy told long ago. They approach you, and you scoot back a little because wtf are they talking about?      

“Well, don’t just stand there,” the voice booms, a note of impatience in their voice. “Do you have anything to say about this? We took a hundred years to figure out who we’d hand this Ultimate Gay title to, and we don’t just give it out lightly, you know.”     

“Oh…OK,” I stammer, not really sure what to say, “But I am, in fact, straight.”     

They laughed, “That is exactly what the closeted gay would say. You are indeed the person we’ve been searching for for a whole century! Thinking of yourself as straight is just a phase.”     

I was completely terrified just thinking about it. How can I reconcile with homosexuality if I’ve never even seen Drag Race? Well, fuck it. I try something I never have before, wearing rainbow, and accept my fate. I can’t hide now. I am the ultimate gay. Fin.

*Mass Meeting Chronicles is a series of short stories written collaboratively by Gayly members at our Winter 2026 Mass Meeting. We followed an initial prompt and each tried to continue the story crafted by the member before, effectively creating the chaos you see before you now. Enjoy!!