I have been fairly fortunate in my life as a trans* man. I (eventually) gained the support of my parents, who have been very helpful in my pursuit of a medical transition. However, there is still a very real cost to all of this. And I don’t mean in any mental or emotional form. I mean money, and lots of it.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has called me a “sweet, baby boy,” “smol bean,” or some other cutely condescending name, I’d have enough saved for top surgery by now. The comments don’t just stop at basic physical appearance, and usually relate to my gayness. I’ve been called “twink” or had someone inappropriately insist that I’m a bottom an absurd amount of times. Yes, it’s true that I’m short, blonde, relatively hairless, and have a higher voice. I would think that it should come naturally that I wouldn’t want to be associated with these traits, since they go against the masculinity I try so hard to cultivate as a trans man. Yet cis people seem borderline obsessed with pointing out my more feminine characteristics, which are often out of my control. Why is this?
Growing up, I never had strong sentiments towards religion, spirituality or any kind of “God”. The only times I went to church was on Christmas Eve, and I only ever set foot in mosques when I visited relatives in Istanbul with my family. Not to pray, but to admire the stunning insides of the Sultan Ahmet and Süleymaniye Mosques. That is not to say that I didn’t enjoy religion though. After all, it was Baby Jesus who brought us presents on Christmas Eve, and I always knew the gifts I received on Kurban Bayram (observed as Eid al-Fitr in other parts of the world) had something to do with Mohammed. Christianity, Islam, and I did not have beef, ever
In the 2020 race for the Democratic nomination, a dynamic exists among the candidates which would have been unthinkable a couple decades ago: the candidate who invokes God and his Christian faith the most, who constantly appealed to morality and his religion, who is trying to take up the mantle of the American Evangelicals from the Trump-era Republicans, is the only fag in the race. Of course, I’m talking about Mayor Pete Buttigieg.