11/1/2021 0 Comments meditations in an emergencyby giovanni smith (they/them)after cameron awkward-rich & frank o’hara ![]() life seduces me with they wind-stroked hair, they pearl-coated landscapes. there’s prettier things than me, than every petal i’ve found and it’s all ugly and craving flesh. i want you to know about the days when all i taste is a filmy whiteness and when all i want to see is black, but not really. it’s because the black, inky body could steal your bones, make them chewy and expose you. i don’t want you to be consumed, too. why would i when i love you? i think i’m trying to convince myself that i am good and that i want for things to never spoil or wilt or die. i want eternity, but not the kind heaven buys. and i want your blessing: i got all these marbles in my gut i’ve been wanting to spit out and show you but are you even asking for that? i just want to paint and stand still all at once.
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