Alibi, or An Abandoned Road

Elessar Younglove (they/fae) 

​I wrote this song when I was 17 years old. Below is a picture of me at that time. The song is a bit sad as, when I wrote it, I was struggling with my emotions and mental health, not to mention the fact that I was closeted while attending a Catholic high school. Now, this song shows me my strength and how far I’ve come. It feels right for it to be the final creative piece I submit to “The Michigan Gayly.” Thank you all.

But this is okay
You let me know then that you were moving on 
You let me slip through your fingers
Pretending to try to catch me

Looks like I'm stuck again
Alone inside my head

This is the fight before the fall
This is where I lose it all
This is when I look at you and see that you are drowning too
This is when I say that I am dead
You pretend to take back every word you said
Hide your words of discontent 
And hide your prepared sentiment
Cause we are fine
And they are fine
And I'm not dying inside

We go along every day 
Hand clasped in mine 
And for once
There's too much time
And how can anyone be sane at all 

This is the fight before the fall 
This is where I lose it all 
This is when I look at you and see that you are drowning too 
This is when I say that I am dead
You pretend to take back every word you said
Hide your words of discontent 
And hide your prepared sentiment 
Cause we are fine
And they are fine
And I'm not dying inside 

Been three long years of this now
Change the date but 
Don't change the calendar 
We're still young we're still dumb 
And I'm still with you 
Oh I'm always with you 
You know I'm always with you
You 
Yooou

This is the fight before the fall 
This is where I lose it all 
This is when I look at you and see that you are drowning too 
This is when I say that I am dead
You pretend to take back every word you said 
Hide your words of discontent 
And hide your prepared sentiment 
Cause we are fine
And they are fine
So please don't cry
Please don't cry 
Just be my alibi 
​