Date Ideas for the Pandemic Era

Daniel Salas-Escabillas (he/they)

COVID-19 pretty much hit the world all at once, and when it did, all in-person meetings pretty much ended. Finding someone to share your life with is already a difficult task when there isn't a pandemic; now, with the coronavirus, it is even harder! The Michigan Gayly is here to help with those troubles. With Valentine’s Day coming near, you need ideas for dating and spending some time with the ones you love!

Video chatting can provide a way to still date without being in person. This outlet provides a lot of interesting and creative activities that you can do with your date without leaving your home and still being safe. Photo credit: Pixelbay

     Before we move into talking about dating, I should mention that when dating during the pandemic it is important to talk about your comfort level regarding close contact and meeting in person. Do not feel pressured to put your life or your ideals on the line. The information provided is assuming that everyone is socially distancing and are talking virtually or on the phone.
     With that in mind, I know everyone is in need of human connection, and as a queer trying to get into the dating game, you should know about where you can connect with people safely.

Here are some lesser known options for dating in the LGBTQ+ community: 

1. OKCupid- OKCupid, which is a trans friendly dating option, has an app and website that can be used to find someone with similar interests. 
2. HER- HER is a women-centric LGBTQ+ dating app. The WeAreHer trademark provides a safe space for individuals who identify as female to meet others who identify the same way. There are also message boards where the platform aims to build a community along with dating. 
3. Scruff- Queer men all know about Grindr, but if you are looking for something more than just a casual encounter, try giving Scruff a test drive. Scruff provides features that are geared more towards dating and learning  about someone with the addition of questions  about your hobbies, interests, and your hometown. 
4. CHAPPY- Another more dating-centric service for gay men is Chappy. Chappy takes the Bumble approach to dating and allows only matched members to be able to talk with each other. It also enforces a stricter policy on unsolicited photos/messages. Chappy provides  peace of mind for those looking for more lasting connections. With these options you are bound to find someone you can connect with on a deeper level. Most services also provide resources and options with virtual dating in mind. 
5. Groups/Communities- Another, less direct approach is just looking into groups and hobbies that interest you and finding someone there who you can connect with. UMich has a ton of student organizations that you could join and find a community with. You can find these organizations on Maize pages. You could also try MeetUp, which sounds like a dating app but really is just a way to find groups that share similar interests.

Now that you have a date, what do you plan to do? Here are some ideas you can try out:

1. Dinner and a Movie - With covid happening there are a lot of new options for dinner and a movie. For one, there are a ton of “watch party options” for most of the major streaming services. This allows you both to watch the same movie/show on your own devices. Some services even provide a feature to chat during the streaming. More new movies are being added to streaming services as they also release in theaters. This way you can both enjoy a new movie while staying at home! For dinner, you could both order take out/both cook your favorite dishes and talk about why they mean so much to each of you. If you want to get extra points, you could cook dinner for both of you and drop it off at your date’s door. Just be sure to use personal protective equipment to stay safe! Then you can both eat the same meal that you cooked. Of course, remember to take note of any allergies or foods they might dislike.
2. Ice Breakers- If you need help figuring out what questions to ask your date, check out these questions published by the New York Times. There are three sets of 12 questions, for a total of 36. They say that your personal relationship will grow when asking these questions of each other. 
3. Virtual Escape Rooms - I know! Who would have thought that escape rooms could go virtual? This is one way to see how you and your date connect by solving puzzles with each other. The way it usually works is you and your date or a group of friends are on a video call with a host, and you are essentially guiding someone who is in the escape room by giving them instructions and having them interact with the environment. It can be a lot of fun and can be one way to learn more about each other. 
4. University Music Society- The UMich University Music Society has been putting on free virtual shows that students can stream at their homes. This is something you can do with your date if you both like classical music and other shows. 
5. The Moth - Listen to stories from real life experiences of people on a world renowned platform known as The Moth. You can stream the shows live and it will be like you and your date are there listening to them in person. The stories are true experiences and are often uplifting, emotional, and definitely something to experience at least once in your life. They also have a podcast that you can listen to before committing to the event. 
6. Virtual Zoo Tours - Check out animals and exhibits at zoos from different places and regions. Watch with your date and talk about the different exhibits as well as what your favorite animals are. 
7. Outdoors- With social distancing in mind there are a number of things that you can do in the outdoors. You can go for a walk with your date and take in the beautiful scenery of Ann Arbor, such as the Arboretum . You can also partake in winter activities, such as sledding when the snow falls. There are also some outdoor ice skating places in the greater Michigan area, if you don’t mind the drive.
8. Comedy Shows- Marissa Goldman delivers comedy in a unique way during these uncertain times. She streams on YouTube while editing a Google Doc. It is definitely a sight to see, and you and your date can partake in this experience live weekly. The previous shows are also there for your enjoyment. Other virtual shows by musicians and comedians can be found at stageit.com.
9. Virtual Drag show- Check your local venues for date and times for their events. Here are some examples of drag shows: 
   1. https://urbanmatter.com/watch-an-exciting-virtual-drag-show-every-night-of-the-week/
   2. https://www.eventbrite.com/d/mi--ann-arbor/drag-queen/

Those are just some examples of date nights you can do with your partner. Most of them could also be done with your family and friends too! Especially because if you're meeting virtually, you don’t have to worry about brushing your teeth or washing your hair. Just have fun and be safe!

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